Things I Learned from Being Raised in Texas

 

THINGS I LEARNED FROM BEING RAISED IN TEXAS Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road, with their feet in the air.   There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth, and 4,998 live in Texas . There are 10,000 types of spiders.  All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a  couple no one's seen before.   If it grows, it sticks..  If it crawls, it bites. 'Twiced' is a word. People actually grow and eat okra. 'Fixinto' is one word. There is no such thing as 'lunch.'  There is only dinner and then supper. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.  We do like a little tea with our sugar! 'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you! Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?' You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.  You work until you're done or it's too dark to see. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.   You measure distance in hours.  Like it's 6 hours from Houston to Dallas . You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day. 'Fix' is a verb.  Example:  'I'm fixing to go to the store.' You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. Yes, Friday night high school football games is serious football! You carry jumper cables in your car...  For your OWN car. There are only four spices:  salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports. 100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.' We have four seasons:  Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.   Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as    'goin' to Wally-World.' A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.   A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.     Example:  'What kind a coke you want?' Fried catfish is the other white meat. We don't need no stinking driver's ed... If our mama says we can drive, we can drive. If you understand these jokes, please forward them to your friends from Texas (and those who just wish they were). EVERYONE can't be from Texas .  You might say it's a gift from God! And the most important thing we learn growing up in TEXAS is...                           " IN GOD WE TRUST " The information contained in this e-mail message is intended only for the personal and confidential use of the recipient(s) named above. This email contains information that is privileged and confidential. If you receive this email in error, please do not read, copy, or disseminate it, which may be a violation of the law. Please reply to sender immediately to inform them that the email was misdirected, then erase it from your computer system. Your assistance in correcting the error is appreciated.